Friendships

Do you ever wonder about your old friends? Do you ever wish things were different, that things were the way they used to be?
I lost my best friend in October 2003, right after our weddings. We had a big fight. She was mean and horrible and I walked out of her wedding. Since then a lot of mean things have been said back and forth. A few nice cards and e-mails, but mosty mean stuff. It's hard because I still speak to her mom and sister and get updates about her. She recently had a little girl, and that has been really wierd for me. It is so strange that we both have daughters and that they will never know each other. We will never hold each other's little girls. We had a 3rd friend that we both lost touch with years ago. I have seen her once, and know that hse has 2 little girls. I have never once thought about her little girls as sadly as I have thought about Baby Sydney. I know that it is too late for us to ever be friends again, and that neither of us is really interested in pursueing it. Sometimes, I just wish things could be as simple as they were when we were 11.